Cohab Monkey


No other type falls in love as quickly, as strongly and as passionately, as you, ENFJ. When you love someone, you may put them on a pedestal and idealise them to the point where others may occasionally begin to doubt your soundness of mind!






The ENFJ mate

A warm, committed lover who brings out the best in their partner and who
will go to great lengths for the sake of 'The Relationship'.

A quick summary of the ENFJ as a mate

LOVE IS: Finding someone with whom they can share a faithful, loyal and affectionate attachment.

FALLS IN LOVE: Quickly and madly. ENTPs are more likely to fall head over heels in love than other personality types.

FALLS OUT OF LOVE: May be slow to leave a bad relationship and may shoulder the blame that the relationship did not work out.

INTIMACY: Sees intimacy as an opportunity to express love and caring. ENFJs are likely to be considerate and skilled lovers.

COMMITMENT: Seeks a lifelong, commited relationship. ENFJs approach their intimate relationships quite seriously.

MOST SATISFIED WITH: A partner who appreciates their compassion and support, and who makes an effort to understand their deep feelings and values.

To win the heart of an ENFJ, be punctual, provide plenty of verbal affection, respect their opinions – and don't make them jealous.
LoveTypes – Alexander Avila

Discover your MBTI® personality type code online in less than 30 minutes for just €45. View a sample report.




The ENFJ is helpful and enthusiastically supportive. ENFJ partners want harmony above all else, sometimes at the expense of their own needs. They are very sensitive to criticism and can become highly emotional and even punishing when their feelings are hurt. However, they have great insight about people, emotions and motivations; they are often able to put this talent to use in resolving things.
       The ideal mate for an ENFJ appreciates their compassion, support, and dedication to helping others, and makes an effort to understand the ENFJ's feelings and values.

The ENFJ in relationships: strengths and challenges

Fun to be with a lively sense of humour

Dramatic, energetic, optimistic, inspirational and affirming

Perceptive about other's thoughts and feelings

Driven to meet other's needs, strives for 'win-win' situations, and loyal and committed.

Good financial skills.

Tendency to be smotheringly over-protective, controling and even manipulative

Sometimes unaware of social appropriateness or norms

Extremely sensitive to conflict which they tend to avoid at all costs

May not pay enough attention to their own needs.

Discover your MBTI® personality type code online in less than 30 minutes for just €45. View a sample report.

The following payment methods are accepted:




Tom is a male ENFJ

When he met his wife, he threw himself in front of her car so he could ask her on a date. He says that he knew the first time they dated that she was 'the one'. Almost every day, he leaves her a note about something different he loves about her. Although both he and his wife work hard to take care of their family including their four daughters, his wife says that he actually sacrifices more. He's very protective and fears many things that could harm his girls.

Bethany is a female ENFJ

She was fairly popular in high school and had her pick of young men. Later, she continued to find it easy to find dates. Her real problem was that she just couldn't find what she was looking for. She joked that she was like Goldilocks. Bethany finally realised that she was holding onto an ideal that no man could match.
     She began dating an old friend and discovered that a relationship doesn't have to be perfect to be satisfying and fulfilling.

Male and female ENFJ relationship portraits from Please Understand Me: Temperament, Character, Intelligence by Dr David Keirsey

Discover your MBTI® personality type code online in less than 30 minutes for just €45. View a sample report.




  • For the ENFJ, love means flowers, poetry, candlelight dinners – in other words, romance with a capital R. When they first fall in love, they fall in love with an ideal perspective of what the relationship will be, and they fall deeply, head over heels. ENFJs value commitment and loyalty, and look for it from their partner. They typically enjoy activities with their partners that allow them to discuss the relationship and focus on what each person truly believes.
          When commitments are broken, ENFJs become upset because they see the breakup as a personal reflection on them and because they have idealised the relationship ...
  • Since they are willing to put the time and effort into the relationship, they expect it will continue on as it was from the very start. Relationships have their ups and downs; the downs, however, are particularly hard on the ENFJ, who does not manage disharmony well.
          When scorned, ENFJs may be resentful, spiteful, and deeply hurt. Because they are acutely aware of emotional matters they take the breakup of a relationship especially hard. They are willing to discuss the ending of the relationship with only a few others because they feel a sense of blame and shame for the relationship not working out.
    LifeTypes: Understand Yourself and Make the Most of Who You Are
    Sandra Krebs Hirsh and Jean Kummerow
  • LifeTypes is a book about you. Authors and MBTI experts Hirsh and Kummerow show you how to develop a detailed psychological self-portrait: to know your strengths and tendencies, overcome your weaknesses, and understand the people in your life better. LifeTypes is book designed to help you know and accept yourself ... to let your true self guide you in everything you do.

    "I loved this book. I totally recognised myself."

    "You will learn an enormous amount about yourself and everyone you come into contact with."

    "The book showed me how to embrace my weaknesses as well as my strengths."

    "I'm a psychologist and this may be the most useful book I've ever found."

    Discover your MBTI® personality type code online in less than 30 minutes for just €45. View a sample report.

    The following payment methods are accepted:





    References: Murray State University, Profound Knowledge Products, My Personality, Personality Desk, Personality Page and David Markley. Also various works by: Paul Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger, Otto Kroeger and Janet M. Thuesen, Florence Littauer, Alexander Avila and Naomi and Alan Quenk.

    WeDo Marriage has evolved ... into

    Check out our website and FREE Cohabitation Agreement