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You are usually extremely attentive in public, smooth in social rituals and unfailingly generous with unexpected gifts, ESTP. You make an exciting, if somewhat unpredictable mate, which may give quieter type mates some anxiety and tension!






The ESTP mate

A sweep-you-off-your-feet charmer who brings fun and energy
into their personal relationship.

A quick summary of the ESTP as a mate

LOVE IS: Finding someone with whom they can make the most of every moment, in a care-free, 'big kids' way.

FALLS IN LOVE: Overwhelmingly. ESTP are rightly known for 'sweeping their partners off their feet'.

FALLS OUT OF LOVE: More than other type, the ESTP is able to end a relationship that they no longer value.

INTIMACY: An enjoyable way of making the most of the relationship in the present moment. Verbally affectionate.

COMMITMENT: Living fully in the moment, ESTPs think: 'I do – for now.' A long-term relationship may be taken one day at a time.

MOST SATISFIED WITH: A partner who wants to live each moment to the full with an appetite for excitement and thrills.

To win the heart of an ESTP, join them on any of their favourite, action-packed, thrill-seeking fun activities. Encourage them entertain you.
LoveTypes – Alexander Avila

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The ESTP is fun-loving and pragmatic ESTPs tend to have little patience for serious discussions or emotional exploration, preferring to keep things fun and action-packed. They tend to be attentive to their partners' physical needs, but may neglect the deeper emotional connections. Their orientation toward quick thinking may lead them to try to apply a solution before they fully understand the issues involved in a conflict, especially when complex and difficult emotions are involved.
      ESTPs do best in relationships when their partners allow them plenty of freedom to pursue excitement.

The ESTP in relationships: strengths and challenges

Generally charming, witty, clever and popular, enthusiastic and fun-loving

Sensual and earthy

Not threatened by conflict or criticism

Excellent and clear-headed dealing with emergency situations

Likely to enjoy lavishing their loved ones with generous gifts.

Not usually good long-range planners and don't naturally make lifelong commitments

May ignore conflict rather than try to solve it

May inadvertantly hurt others with insensitive language

Very likely to leave a relationship quickly if they become bored.

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Marty is a male ESTP

Marty says that he used to be very popular with the ladies before he decided to settle down. Girls would usually respond so well to his attention that other guys complained about how he always got the 'good ones'.
    When he decided to propose to his wife, he chose a unique method. He and a friend spelled out, 'Will you marry me?' using colored rocks on an empty field. Then he took her on a hot air balloon ride. She cried and said 'Yes'. She loves repeating this story.

Brandy is a female ESTP

Brandy enjoyed keeping a bunch of guys on a string and playing them off each other. She deliberately cultivated a bad girl reputation by dressing provocatively and talking dirty.
    When she married, she put that persona aside, but soon her marriage became boring. She and her husband began volunteering to solicit donations for a charity. She acts as the pushy negotiator while her husband is the quiet closer. They have a lot of fun together, and she's fallen in love with him again..

Male and female ESTP relationship portraits from Please Understand Me: Temperament, Character, Intelligence by Dr David Keirsey

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  • For the ESTP, love means finding someone to have fun with, sharing life's ups and avoiding life's downs. ESTPs enjoy falling in love but do so quite practically by finding common ground with their loved one. This companionship aspect, in which activities can be jointly pursued, is important to them.
          Generally, ESTPs can be fairly straightforward about the more sensual side of love, regarding it as a major part of life's enjoyment. They may like parties, and entertainment that has an earthy undertone, seeing these activities as a part of life not to be taken too seriously ...
  • For ESTPs in relationships, too much daily routine can feel confining and boring. When this happens, they are likely to 'liven' things up by surprising their partners with a second honeymoon, a large or extravagant gift. When scorned, ESTPs may wallow in their grief for some time before cutting their losses and moving on. ESTPs usually approach the breakup of a relationship with a fairly straightforward and realistic orientation. After they have dealt with the emotional part, it is as if fate has taken its course. It is as though they might say, 'The relationship is over. Life dealt me a blow, and it's time to move on.'
    LifeTypes: Understand Yourself and Make the Most of Who You Are
    Sandra Krebs Hirsh and Jean Kummerow
  • LifeTypes is a book about you. Authors and MBTI experts Hirsh and Kummerow show you how to develop a detailed psychological self-portrait: to know your strengths and tendencies, overcome your weaknesses, and understand the people in your life better. LifeTypes is book designed to help you know and accept yourself ... to let your true self guide you in everything you do.

    "I loved this book. I totally recognised myself."

    "You will learn an enormous amount about yourself and everyone you come into contact with."

    "The book showed me how to embrace my weaknesses as well as my strengths."

    "I'm a psychologist and this may be the most useful book I've ever found."

    Discover your MBTI® personality type code online in less than 30 minutes for just €45. View a sample report.

    The following payment methods are accepted:





    References: Murray State University, Profound Knowledge Products, My Personality, Personality Desk, Personality Page and David Markley. Also various works by: Paul Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger, Otto Kroeger and Janet M. Thuesen, Florence Littauer, Alexander Avila and Naomi and Alan Quenk.

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