LOVE IS: Finding someone to share their vision of the world, their path through life, making each day better in every way than the last.
FALLS IN LOVE: With their head first. INTJs bring a lot of depth, creativity and intensity and insight to their realtionships.
FALLS OUT OF LOVE: If they have decided it is the right thing to do, INTJs are able to leave a relationship when it's over.
INTIMACY: Their natural creativity and intensity can shine through in the INTJ's sexual life. They may need to be more verbally expressive with their partner.
COMMITMENT: Seeks a lifelong, commited relationship. By nature INTJs are 'improvers' always keen to make their relationships better.
MOST SATISFIED WITH: A partner who allows them the independence to achieve their goals, and one who appreciates their ability to offer creative solutions to problems.
The INTJ is loyal but independent. INTJs can be almost scientific in choosing a mate and make devoted partners once they have found a match that fits their rigorous list of requirements. However, they often do not see the need for affection or niceties, and their partners may find them difficult to read. INTJs find the process of discussing emotions much too messy and disorganised.
INTJs value a partner that allows them the independence to achieve their goals, and one who appreciates their efficacy, insight and ability to offer creative solutions to problems.
Take relationships and commitments seriously
Usually self-confident and not threatened by conflict or criticism
Generally extremely intelligent and capable
Interested in 'optimising' their relationship.
May sometimes rush into relationships
Not naturally in tune with others feelings or good at expressing feelings and affections
May tend to respond to conflict with logic and reason, rather than the desired emotional support
May tend to hold back part of themselves.
As a teen, he was slow to mature. He was interested in girls, but was very awkward around them. He also felt that most girls were just plain silly, so he did not date. By his senior year in college, he was actively looking for a mate but wasn't quite sure how to go about it. One day he happened to strike up a conversation with a young woman he'd known slightly. They immediately hit it off, covering topics ranging from the inane (comic strips) to the sublime (the origin of life). They married a year later. Hamid feels very relieved to have successfully cleared this life hurdle.
In high school, she watched others flirt and felt a combination of envy and disgust. In college, Pat found some dates in her upper level classes and professional organizations. Now she has a steady boyfriend. They enjoy long technical and philosophical talks and cultural experiences. They have talked of marriage, but, at this point, they're too involved in their careers.
Male and female INTJ relationship portraits from Please Understand Me: Temperament, Character, Intelligence by Dr David Keirsey
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References: Murray State University, Profound Knowledge Products, My Personality, Personality Desk, Personality Page and David Markley. Also various works by: Paul Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger, Otto Kroeger and Janet M. Thuesen, Florence Littauer, Alexander Avila and Naomi and Alan Quenk.