LOVE IS: Finding someone with whom they can share a faithful, loyal and affectionate attachment.
FALLS IN LOVE: Very cautiously. To the INTP dealing with emotion brings with it the fear of great potential pain.
FALLS OUT OF LOVE: May have difficulty leaving bad relationships. But a partner who violates the INTP's values will be cut off forever.
INTIMACY: With a vivid enthusiasm INTP's can make the most of the moment with great intensity. They may need to be more verbally expressive with their partner.
COMMITMENT: Seeks a lifelong, commited relationship. INTPs approach their intimate relationships quite seriously.
MOST SATISFIED WITH: A partner who appreciates their ingenuity and problem-solving ability, and one who understands their need for autonomy.
The INTP is an independent and clever partner. They enjoy engaging intellectually with a partner who can match their quick wit. They tend to analyse the theory behind everything, and may interpret human interactions with the detached logic of a psychological researcher. INTPs may find others difficult to deal with when they cannot understand the logic behind their behavior. When things get too emotional, they typically prefer to retreat to their own world of thoughts and ideas.
INTPs value a partner that appreciates their ingenuity and problem-solving ability, and one that understands their need for autonomy.
Capable of feeling deep love and warmth
Can be richly imaginative and creative in showing affection
Usually laid-back, undemanding and
Generally willing to defer to their mates
Does not feel personally threatened by conflict or criticism.
Not naturally in tune with others' feelings, slow to respond to their emotional needs, and poor at expressing their own feelings and emotions
May tend to ignore conflict situations or else erupt in heated anger
May tend to be suspicious and distrusting of others.
Sam had a slow start in the dating game. However, he found his own niche in college by becoming The Brain. He was in a long-term relationship which died long before he was willing to write a death certificate. After some time had passed, he discovered another woman he'd actually known for years. He was hesitant to make a commitment after the last fiasco. However, when he suggested they live together, she said she would only live with him if they were married. That helped him make a decision to commit without feeling pressured.
She had a steady boyfriend in high school. They broke up when he pushed for a further commitment and she realized he wasn't what she wanted long term. She has dated off and on since then and enjoys getting to know new people. She's had some serious boyfriends, but she hasn't found one she wants to keep yet. Her mother is worried that she'll never get married since Mara is already in her thirties and has no boyfriend. Mara figures it will happen when it happens..
Male and female INTP relationship portraits from Please Understand Me: Temperament, Character, Intelligence by Dr David Keirsey
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References: Murray State University, Profound Knowledge Products, My Personality, Personality Desk, Personality Page and David Markley. Also various works by: Paul Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger, Otto Kroeger and Janet M. Thuesen, Florence Littauer, Alexander Avila and Naomi and Alan Quenk.