Cohab Monkey


You have no interest in relationship game-playing, INTP, and you tend to hold back until the other person has proven themselves 'worthy'. But once committed to the relationship, you will form a faithful attachment filled with genuine affection.






The INTP mate

A faithful, loyal and passionate yet easy-to-live-with partner who takes
their commitment to their relationship seriously,

A quick summary of the INTP as a mate

LOVE IS: Finding someone with whom they can share a faithful, loyal and affectionate attachment.

FALLS IN LOVE: Very cautiously. To the INTP dealing with emotion brings with it the fear of great potential pain.

FALLS OUT OF LOVE: May have difficulty leaving bad relationships. But a partner who violates the INTP's values will be cut off forever.

INTIMACY: With a vivid enthusiasm INTP's can make the most of the moment with great intensity. They may need to be more verbally expressive with their partner.

COMMITMENT: Seeks a lifelong, commited relationship. INTPs approach their intimate relationships quite seriously.

MOST SATISFIED WITH: A partner who appreciates their ingenuity and problem-solving ability, and one who understands their need for autonomy.

To win the heart of an INTP, appeal to their craving for new ideas and theories. Respect their uniquely analytical way of looking at the world.
LoveTypes – Alexander Avila

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The INTP is an independent and clever partner. They enjoy engaging intellectually with a partner who can match their quick wit. They tend to analyse the theory behind everything, and may interpret human interactions with the detached logic of a psychological researcher. INTPs may find others difficult to deal with when they cannot understand the logic behind their behavior. When things get too emotional, they typically prefer to retreat to their own world of thoughts and ideas.
       INTPs value a partner that appreciates their ingenuity and problem-solving ability, and one that understands their need for autonomy.

The INTP in relationships: strengths and challenges

Capable of feeling deep love and warmth

Can be richly imaginative and creative in showing affection

Usually laid-back, undemanding and

Generally willing to defer to their mates

Does not feel personally threatened by conflict or criticism.

Not naturally in tune with others' feelings, slow to respond to their emotional needs, and poor at expressing their own feelings and emotions

May tend to ignore conflict situations or else erupt in heated anger

May tend to be suspicious and distrusting of others.

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Sam is a male INTP

Sam had a slow start in the dating game. However, he found his own niche in college by becoming The Brain. He was in a long-term relationship which died long before he was willing to write a death certificate. After some time had passed, he discovered another woman he'd actually known for years. He was hesitant to make a commitment after the last fiasco. However, when he suggested they live together, she said she would only live with him if they were married. That helped him make a decision to commit without feeling pressured.

Mara is a female INTP

She had a steady boyfriend in high school. They broke up when he pushed for a further commitment and she realized he wasn't what she wanted long term. She has dated off and on since then and enjoys getting to know new people. She's had some serious boyfriends, but she hasn't found one she wants to keep yet. Her mother is worried that she'll never get married since Mara is already in her thirties and has no boyfriend. Mara figures it will happen when it happens..

Male and female INTP relationship portraits from Please Understand Me: Temperament, Character, Intelligence by Dr David Keirsey

Discover your MBTI® personality type code online in less than 30 minutes for just €45. View a sample report.




  • For the INTP, love has three distinct phases: falling in, staying in, and getting out. These phases relate to their thinking preference and its need for order and sequence.
          When INTPs falls in love, they fall hard – they not structure or control it but simply enjoy and experience it. They may bravely ignore the realities of distance, weather, and time to be with the loved one.
          As relationships progress to the staying-in-love phase, INTPs begin to evaluate their structure and form. Outward demonstrations of affection lessen. INTPs take their commitments to their partner seriously; however, they may not discuss these commitments at any length, because their commitments seem so obvious to them ...
  • Falling out of love for the INTP happens when a line is crossed that neither partner knows about ahead of time. However, the INTP knows after the line has been crossed, and then the relationship deteriorates or ends. If INTPs recognise their unmet emotions and needs as valid, they are able to sever relationship ties fairly cleanly. However, if they misjudge their own needs and those of their partner, the breakup can be messy, perhaps affecting other aspects of their lives for a long time.
    LifeTypes: Understand Yourself and Make the Most of Who You Are
    Sandra Krebs Hirsh and Jean Kummerow
  • LifeTypes is a book about you. Authors and MBTI experts Hirsh and Kummerow show you how to develop a detailed psychological self-portrait: to know your strengths and tendencies, overcome your weaknesses, and understand the people in your life better. LifeTypes is book designed to help you know and accept yourself ... to let your true self guide you in everything you do.

    "I loved this book. I totally recognised myself."

    "You will learn an enormous amount about yourself and everyone you come into contact with."

    "The book showed me how to embrace my weaknesses as well as my strengths."

    "I'm a psychologist and this may be the most useful book I've ever found."

    Discover your MBTI® personality type code online in less than 30 minutes for just €45. View a sample report.

    The following payment methods are accepted:





    References: Murray State University, Profound Knowledge Products, My Personality, Personality Desk, Personality Page and David Markley. Also various works by: Paul Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger, Otto Kroeger and Janet M. Thuesen, Florence Littauer, Alexander Avila and Naomi and Alan Quenk.

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