This book is amazing. Instead of expecting there to be no arguments, the authors explain how to argue so you both win. Thank you Linda and Charlie for making this contribution to peaceful understanding on this planet, one couple at a time.

101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last
– Linda Bloom and Charlie Bloom.

“This book is amazing. I plan to suggest to my boyfriend that we read a couple of chapters an evening and discuss them.”

“Very inspiring. It reminds me to look at the positive things about my relationship.”

“You can learn about what holds a marriage together and what drives people apart.”

“From the stories in this book you can also see beyond what couples are fighting about to get to what couples actually want from a marriage.”

“Very thought-provoking book. Covers a great many things that many may not think to ask about their potential spouse.”

“This book was read by me after I had gotten married, but many of the questions gave food for thought and are good for opening discussion.”

“ My husband and I highlighted sections that meant something to us and discussed them. Really helped us over a hump! Highly recommended and it's an easy read.”

“Show couples how to communicate effectively to dissolve conflict and open the way to a more nurturing relationship.”

“A must-have book, whether or not you’re married or even after! The table of contents alone is a gold mine.”

“Doesn’t ever feel like we're being lectured. It’s more a case of: look, we made these mistakes and we’d like to offer you some ways to do it better.”

“Presents us with ways to share, show us how to increase trust, how to lean into each others differences, how to disagree without leaving each other bloody.”

“There is no psycho-babble or magic bullet in this book. Rather Linda and Charlie Bloom give us concrete examples of how to do partnership better.”

“Gives us simple, straight-forward strategies for building the kind of intimate relationship most of us can only imagine.”

“Should be read as preparation for not just marriage but for relationships in general.”

“I think if you’re in a serious relationship leading to marriage you owe it to yourself to get this. I suspect if you're already married you can still benefit too!”

“If you are married, thinking about getting married, or recently married, you owe it to yourself read this book! If you aren't hooked on the book by the end of the table of contents I would be shocked!”

reviews from Amazon.com

Imagine a relationship in which you can be yourself. A partnership in which you can speak your truth without causing harm. Imagine sharing a level of intimacy that allows you to grow in love – for yourself, for your partner, for your world.

In 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last psychotherapists Linda and Charlie Bloom deliver practical guidance and make it clear that, regardless of past experience, anyone can develop the basic strengths, skills, and capacities needed for a great relationship.

Each lesson is presented as a simple, one-line thought followed by an explanation using real life examples – from the authors' own experiences in sustaining their marriage of 31 years or from those of the thousands of couples they've professionally counseled or who have taken the Blooms' life relationship seminars.

Some examples from 101 Things:

  • Great relationships don't just happen; they are created.
  • If your job gets your best energy, your marriage will wither.
  • One of the greatest gifts you can give your partner is your own happiness.
  • The only rules in a marriage are those to which you both choose to agree.
  • Commitment isn't a prison; it's a means to greater freedom.
  • It isn't conflict that destroys marriages; it's the cold, smoldering resentment that is bred by withholding.
  • If you choose monogamy, keep your agreement.
  • Even good marriages have recurring seasons, and there can be some hard winters.
  • Your partner cannot rescue you from unhappiness, but he/she can help you to rescue yourself.
  • Your primary relationship is with your partner, not your children.
  • One person, no matter how much he loves you, cannot meet all your emotional needs.
  • Love isn't always enough to sustain a marriage.
  • True intimacy can exist only between equals.
  • The real issue is usually not the one you're arguing about.
  • Love isn't just a feeling; it's action that shows our caring.
  • If you can't be happy without your partner, you won't be happy together.
  • If you think you're too good for your partner, think again.
  • Of all the benefits of marriage, the greatest is the possibility of using this relationship to become a more loving person

Although most of us are aware of what it takes to promote intimacy, trust, and deep connectedness in relationships, putting our knowledge into practice is often another thing altogether. We may find the challenge of creating loving relationships far more difficult than we expect it to be. Our partner can bring out the worst as well as the best in us

101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married book demonstrates how couples can enrich their own relationships through working through love's challenges.

About the Authors

Married since 1972 Linda Bloom and Charlie Bloom are psychotherapists, family therapists and relationship counsellors. They have served individually or jointly at a range of institutes including the Esalen Institute, University of California and the World Health Organization.
      They have offered seminars throughout the USA, and in China, Indonesia, Denmark, Sweden, India and Brazil. Their book was published in 2004 and is currently in its tenth printing.